Yesterday's focus was on mindfulness directed inward, such as on the task we do so that we do not carry the seeds of distraction in our heads as we go about our day.
Today's focus is on mindfulness in social interactions
Haven't we been introduced to someone and forgotten their name within 10 seconds? Haven't we been in a conversation when someone asked us a question and we realized only several seconds later that he was expecting an answer but we didn't have a clue what the question was?
And we often recognize that our action was driven by an agenda which we were not aware of at the time of acting or speaking.
The primary message today is a re-definition of the purpose of conversation:
"The purpose of conversation is NOT to be understood, it is TO UNDERSTAND!"
Here is this powerful exercise that builds on the other powerful exercise of yesterday. I've tried this and it works wonders.
Today's focus is on mindfulness in social interactions
Haven't we been introduced to someone and forgotten their name within 10 seconds? Haven't we been in a conversation when someone asked us a question and we realized only several seconds later that he was expecting an answer but we didn't have a clue what the question was?
And we often recognize that our action was driven by an agenda which we were not aware of at the time of acting or speaking.
The primary message today is a re-definition of the purpose of conversation:
"The purpose of conversation is NOT to be understood, it is TO UNDERSTAND!"
Here is this powerful exercise that builds on the other powerful exercise of yesterday. I've tried this and it works wonders.
When you have a conversation with someone, devote your whole attention to the conversation. Note the other person carefully. What does her facial expression tell you? Does the tone of his voice vary? Is there tension in her body, in her voice? Is there something he's’ trying to convey which is not in the words that he is articulating?
Much of the time when we are in a conversation we are not really paying attention to the other person, we’re very busy formulating what we are going to say, what brilliant reply we are going to make.
So the practice is to consciously simply focus on the other person when they are speaking. Try to understand what is going on. What is the purpose of the conversation. Are there verbal and nonverbal cues that signifies something is going on behind the scenes.
Carrying on a conversation in this manner is not easy however the rewards far outweigh the effort
Next Step:
Have a conversation with your full attention.
I've heard in a conversation between Krista Tippett and Brene Brown:- “Listen with the same passion that you’d like to be heard”. One of the additional values of redefining the purpose of conversation as such: “the purpose of conversation is not to be understood, it is to understand”, is that it helps us practice moving away from “me” centeredness. And as we devote our full nonjudgemental/attention on the other, there is so much to learn about what's going on within ourselves too. For instance, we see judgments forming, resistance to a point of view, or a range of distractions emerging. This is such a worthy adventure to devote to.
Next Step:
Have a conversation with your full attention.
I've heard in a conversation between Krista Tippett and Brene Brown:- “Listen with the same passion that you’d like to be heard”. One of the additional values of redefining the purpose of conversation as such: “the purpose of conversation is not to be understood, it is to understand”, is that it helps us practice moving away from “me” centeredness. And as we devote our full nonjudgemental/attention on the other, there is so much to learn about what's going on within ourselves too. For instance, we see judgments forming, resistance to a point of view, or a range of distractions emerging. This is such a worthy adventure to devote to.
No comments:
Post a Comment